Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
