It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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