No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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