Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
