If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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