threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
