im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
