absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
