Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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