and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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