Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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