six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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