no, he came in my armpit
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
