Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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