Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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