At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
