I think i peed on brittanys purse
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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