oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
