i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just threw up on my dentist
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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