he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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