so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
