yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize