They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
