She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just tell him i said nine months
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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