Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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