Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
