Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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