I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we're so committed to being not committed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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