im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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