R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
