So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
