why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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