yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
