gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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