Can i not drive my cunt home
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
