LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
