Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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