8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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