i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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