Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
