Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
