Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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