well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
