How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
