i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
