I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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