ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
