i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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