I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
