Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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