He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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