Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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