like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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