I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize