in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
