Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
