I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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