Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
being pregnant is like rehab
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
