it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
