If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize